Troubling Worries
by FlyingFree910
Summary: Can Jac fix her relationship with Jonny or is it too late?
1. Chapter 1

_**Had this idea in my head and had to type it up. I hope you enjoy. **_

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**Jac's P.O.V**

As I lay in the middle of my bed scrunched up into a ball crying my eyes out, all I can think of is all that I have now lost. Jonny. Why did I push him away? All he wanted to do was look after me and care for me but I just pushed and pushed until he broke. It's a wonder it took so long. Never did I believe that after Sean that he would take me back but he did, he was the bigger person and now I have ruined it for good there is absolutely no way back. There can't be, I even slapped him for goodness sake.

I was starting to believe that I could do the unthinkable, be a wife and a mother, but that can't happen now can it. I have lost Jonny and the chances of conceiving now are minimal. I shiver as I look over at the clock, midnight. I suppose I should get used to being alone, how could anyone want to be with me? A damaged, heartless bitch that only cares about her career. But that's just it, how can I be anyone of those if I'm ultimately broken over a man? A man I love so much that I would do anything for quit my job, even move to the moon for. It never hurt as much when Joseph left and I am starting to see the difference between the two. I chose my career over Joseph and I wouldn't change that decision as I know deep down that it was for the best. For Jonny, my career now doesn't matter; I would follow him to the ends of the Earth and know it was the right decision.

Why am I so stupid, why didn't I just tell him about the endometriosis and let him do what he wanted? Look after me, care for me, and help me. But I didn't. I didn't and now I am paying the price. I don't see the point now in continuing, I'm living a pointless life with nothing to look forward to. I don't even want to come home, an empty flat with nothing inside. It's dead, just like the way that I am feeling now. Scrunching up into an either tighter ball, I try to sleep. I try to forget.

**Jonny's P.O.V**

Looking at the clock, I see its midnight. A new day. I sigh and roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. I have no idea how I am supposed to feel. I mean I believed that she was the one, hard to believe but it's true. I wanted the whole lot, a wife and children but I can't see that happening now. How am I supposed to get over the one person that I truly love? Was I too hard on her? I don't know.

She is just such an extraordinary person, so beautiful and talented with so many secrets. She was hiding something, I know she was. Whether it was for my own good I don't know but whatever it was she didn't trust me enough to tell me. Does she love me as much as I love her? So many questions which need answers. Looking back at the clock I wonder whether she is awake now, in as much anguish as me or in a dreamless sleep not a care in the world. Sighing I rise from my bed and search for my clothes, I'm going to see her.

Arriving at the front of her flats, I look up towards her window and notice no lights on. Is she in? I have no idea but it's time to find out. I use the spare key she gave me for emergencies and enter her flat quietly. Shrugging off my coat I make my way towards her bedroom and I am shocked at what I see. The strong, confident Jacqueline Naylor is on her bed, curled up into a ball with the lamp light casting a soft glow onto her body. But what shocks me the most is the tear stained, red face of the woman I love. I knew I made the wrong decision when I walked away, I knew it. Look at her, she is so small, and all I want to do is carry her around in my arms forever.

I remove my shoes along with my shirt and jeans and gently peel the quilt away from her body. Climbing in behind her I scoop her fragile self into my waiting arms and hold her close. So close. She curls into me like a moth to a flame, her subconscious recognizing me. I kiss each tear stained cheek in turn before softly kissing her lips. Pulling away and closing my eyes, I am certain of three things. In the morning there will be questions, in the morning there will be tears, but I know for a fact that in the morning I will have the love of my life in my arms and I plan to get through whatever has happened because I want her in my arms for the rest of my life.

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_**Please review and tell me what you think.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here is Chapter 2, I hope it lives up to your expectations. **_

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**Jac's P.O.V**

I'm running, running so fast. I don't know why and I don't know from what but I know that I am scared. So scared. I trip and land hard on the floor, rolling onto my back I look up and find the person that I am running from looking over me. Myself. I'm grabbed and I struggle. I struggle to try and free myself from my tight hold. I want to be free. Let me be free. I'm crying now but all of sudden it's all gone. No-one is holding me and I'm in a bright room. Looking around, I'm confused. I can hear someone calling my name, a male voice. Jonny. Oh how I wish I hadn't have messed our relationship up. I'm too far gone, my whole life has collapsed and I can't do anything about it. I'm hysterical now but all I can hear is my name, like a chant all around me and soon I'm pulling away from the dream world, my nightmare following me into reality. But the first thing I notice when I wake up is strong male arms holding mine above my head. I panic.

**Jonny's P.O.V**

I'm awoken by an elbow in my side, I grunt as I look over at the clock. 4 am. Sighing I notice what had woke me up. Jac must be in the middle of a nightmare, thrashing about and crying. I start to call her name but it's making no difference. I try to calm the hysterical woman in my arms but it's becoming too difficult. Grabbing her arms, I pin them above her head before she injures herself or me. With one final shout of Jac she opens her eyes with a jolt and screams. I have never ever seen her like this, so out of control and to be honest it scares the hell out me. I lower her arms and gather her into my own. I try to calm her down; I'm shushing her and rocking her back and forth and eventually her cries subside until all I can hear is hiccups.

"Jac sweetheart, its okay I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I'm here. C'mon show me those beautiful eyes, let me see your face". Slowly Jac raised her head and I nearly cried myself. Her face was bright red and her eyes full of sorrow. I lean forward and press my forehead against hers. I don't know how long it was until she uttered the first words but hearing her voice made the hairs on my arms stand up. She sounded so small and so fragile, not like the Jac I knew. I was going to fix that.

**Jac's P.O.V**

After I had calmed down, I noticed two things. Not only was I being rocked by a man, but that man was Jonny. I am so confused, why was he here? He was talking to me and I followed what he said and looked at him. So handsome. He pressed his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes to saviour the moment. I just want to stay here forever but I know I can't, I decide to break the silence with the only words that I need to say.

"I love you"

**Jonny's P.O.V**

"I love you". It's like music to my ears. It's only the second time she's said it, and despite all that has happened to us over the past few days; it's the only words I truly wanted to hear. Sighing I gently lay us down on the bed and manoeuvre the quilt over both our bodies. Making sure she is settled comfortably in my arms I begin to talk.

"I was lying in my bed just thinking. Wondering whether you were in bits over what had happened or asleep without a care. I needed answers, I need to ask so many questions. I came over here just to see you, I had to. I used the key you gave me and found you in ball on your bed. I just wanted to comfort you, you were so small and I just wanted to wrap you into my arms and leave you there forever.

I knew I had made the wrong decision when I walked away from you, but I'm sick of it Jac. I'm sick of all the lies and the deception. I cannot let you go again; I want to be with you forever. I love you too much to just walk away. You need to start telling me the truth, tell me what's going through that head of yours. I am prepared to just forget about everything, from today to start a new life. Me and you, the past is no more and we can be together forever. But that all depends on you Jac. Talk to me, make me understand."

**Jac's P.O.V**

Hearing Jonny speak and spill his heart out, I know two things. One I have been given such a crucial lifeline and two I am going to make things right. I lean up on my arm and look over the body of the man I deeply love and up to his face. Staring into his eyes, I tell him everything.

"I love you so much Jonny, more than I could ever think. There was a man before you, a man you probably heard the rumours about. He was called Joseph Byrne. I messed his life up, slept with his father to better my career and tore his family apart. I lied and I didn't care. But when he left and asked me go with him, I refused. Yes I was upset but I wanted to stay at Darwin and continue with my career. I thought he was the love of my life but now looking at you, the love I felt for him is nothing compared to the love I feel for you. I don't understand it but you got under my skin and into my heart and I don't want you to leave.

I'm sorry about the way I have treated you and the lies. I'm scared Jonny so scared. I want to be your wife; I want to be the mother of your children. I thought I could be you know, pregnant, when I was having those pains in my stomach. I did a urine sample and it was clear, I went to Serena with an ultrasound from a fake patient and she didn't know and then I found out the truth. I have endometriosis. It's very unlikely that I can have children and I was scared to tell you. I thought you might leave if you knew, but that didn't matter did it. I still made you leave. I want you to know I love you so much and I want to so much forget about everything that has happened and start afresh. But I need to know Jonny so desperately. Do you still want to be with me knowing that I might be unable to give you children? Can you honestly tell me please? I need to know."

I hold my breath as I wait for the answer.

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_**Please review, I would love to hear your thoughts.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three is here guys. I'm really enjoying writing this story.**_

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**Jonny's P.O.V**

"You are such an idiot", was my reply.  
"An absolute idiot. You honestly think that I would abandon you because there is a possibility that we cannot have children. Of course it's upsetting but I want you, you stupid women. I love you and we have been through so much together just to throw it away. I have had dreams you know of a little girl and boy, spitting image of their parents but do you know what I would sacrifice those dreams if it means that I will still have you in my arms. I'm never ever letting you go again, so you might as well get used to me being around, because I intend to stay for the long haul." I looked into the eyes of my beloved and saw just how much my words had registered. Instead of sorrow, all I saw was the shining green eyes of happiness. This biggest grin spread across my face and it was soon matched by one of her own. Leaning over I gently kissed her and knew we would be okay. My happiness was soon shattered when an almighty punch was aimed at my shoulder.

"Don't ever call me an idiot again", I just laughed. And soon both us were rolling about on the bed in a fit of giggles, without a care in the world.

**Jac's P.O.V**

Everything's going to be okay, I have Jonny back and everything's okay. I look up onto the face of my boyfriend. His eyes, his charismatic smile, his handsome face and before I know it I'm saying four words which shock us both.

"Move in with me". His happiness soon turned to shock.  
"I know I said no to you when you asked but I was scared, I couldn't commit to something that big with so many unresolved issues and lies. And now with everything out in the open, I want to do it. I want to show the world how much I love you and I want to be with you. Anyway my flat is much classier than yours and I will get a say in the toothpaste department. I mean seriously you're a grown man and you still use bubblegum toothpaste" I waited to hear his reply, this was a big step, the biggest yet.

**Jonny's P.O.V**

This was a big step, the biggest yet but I know how I feel and I know how much this would mean to her.  
"Yes, no question about it yes" I lean forward and kiss her, so much emotion radiating from both of us which was soon interrupted by the shrill call of her alarm. 6 am already, wow. Leaning over I turned her alarm off and rise from the bed whilst pulling Jac with me.  
"C'mon you. Shower, breakfast, work and then the rest of our lives together".

"I quite like that idea", Jac replied. I laughed and then proceeded to chase her into the bathroom. We had never been so carefree; I think I'm going to enjoy the rest of my life.

Work was a drag; all I wanted to do was go home with Jac and start to build our future but unfortunately the world doesn't want that to happen. The staff has dwindled in numbers due to an epidemic of the flu and everyone seems to need the treatment provided by Darwin. I am looking forward to sleeping tonight. Twirling around in the nurses' chair, I spot Jac talking to Elliott. Her happiness can clearly be seen, the radiant smile, the enthusiasm in her actions, I can't help but smile. I was brought out of my musing by a nudge on my shoulder. Looking up I saw the face of my best mate.

"Right I'm going to say this once and only once. You two are obviously in love; even an idiot can see that. But I hope you know what you are doing, for some reason she is special to you and I have no idea why. I take it you two have talked considering how happy she is. I am prepared to give her a chance, one chance because I owe it to you to trust what you are doing. Good luck Jonny Mac. "And with that Mo walked away with a couple of patient files. Just like that, everything fell into place. He had the blessing of his best friend. With the biggest smile he made his way over to Jac who had just finished her talk with Elliott.

"What's with the smile?" she asked me.  
"Well Mo has given us her blessing", I replied.  
"Seriously", she seemed genuinely surprised.  
"Yep", I smiled and she soon matched it.  
"We may need to go shopping after work; you seem to have no food whatsoever. I mean do you even eat at home?" The sheepish look on her face confirmed this.  
"I'll meet you in reception after the shift; I suppose we must take a trip to the supermarket". Was her reply. And with that she walked away, I guess we all know who wears the trousers in this relationship.

**Jac's P.O.V**

This day is a drag; I mean as soon as everyone comes back to work they better wish that they were still ill after I finish with them. I am absolutely starving as well; this morning has just drained all the energy from me. I can't even remember the last time I went food shopping, well I suppose there's a first time for everything.

Walking into a shopping centre, hand in hand with my boyfriend is the weirdest feeling I've felt in ages. I'm slightly giddy. Walking through the aisles with a trolley between us seems to me like normality. I never thought that I would become so domesticated. We chat about small things here and there, laugh about little things. The hand on the bottom of my back stays there the entire time. We come across the toothpaste aisle and I am quick to pick up some cool mint toothpaste, and his usual bubblegum one.

"See this here is what big boys have" I said while pointing to the mint one. Jonny just grabbed the bubblegum toothpaste and placed it into the trolley as I did the same with the mint one.  
"Yeah well, I like the taste", replied Jonny. I couldn't help it but I laughed. Well that was a big mistake as suddenly I was grabbed and spun around. Everyone around us was looking but I didn't care, I was having fun.  
"Oh Jac, you are in so much trouble. You really shouldn't make fun of the almighty one", Jonny said to me.

With one quick kiss on the lips, I pulled away and continued to walk down the aisle with the trolley.  
"In your dreams sweetheart, you would never know where to start to punish me" I called back.

"Oh you just wait Miss Naylor; I have a few tricks up my sleeve". Let the games begin.

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_**Please review and let me know what you think. Should I leave it here or continue? I'm not to sure at the moment.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Write guys here is Chapter 4, I have tried to do something different with this chapter so I hope you like it.**_

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Life may be hard and you struggle to cope

To forget about the past and to live in hope

Your childhood memories cast a glow

Of painful times you wish to go

Your mother left you all alone

Young and scared without a home

The walls built up far and wide

Any emotions cast aside

Your job came first above the rest

And any such feelings became repressed

You put your heart and soul on the line

When a certain Joseph began to shine

At first you thought he was no good

Until he talked you knew you should

His father the one holding the key

The future bright for all to see

You took advantage and soon you saw

The other side of a large large door

All good things must come to an end

When your actions destroy your once good friend

All secrets shared you were soon found out

A family destroyed without a doubt

Lord Byrne soon died your life in tatters

Your career however was all that mattered

You tried again to lie and cheat

But you did not know when to concede defeat

When Joseph left baby in tow

Despite everything he asked you to go

Your reasoning you say was your life and job here

But deep down you knew he had to disappear

For Joseph was no longer the man you once knew

Destroyed by your lies, he had grown all new

A shadow of his former being

Changes being made had you both agreeing

He went left and you went right

Him a start for a future bright

You carried on with the ice queen title

Your heart clasped closed was ever so vital

Never again would you ever be

Laid wide open for all to see

A heartless bitch was fine by you

And your career just grew and grew

Soon you were in a place so high

Filling the heels of times gone by

One time in theatre you went too far

Sent to a meeting it became so bizarre

A cocky Scot got under your skin

Lied about himself and wore you thin

Ending up in bed you disregarded him

It was a onetime thing and you went out on a whim

But how were you supposed to know

That he would end up working in your shadow

You tried to ignore but he would not leave

Your passion so much you had to relieve

As time went by you carried on

Unknown to you your feelings called upon

Feelings grew much bigger than before

Unlike Joseph, Jonny made you explore

He stood his ground and took no shit

And you must admit you liked his wit

All good things must come to an end

When you pushed the button and slept with a friend

You ran off to Japan too scared to face

The consequences you left in your place

In the tiny Japanese bed your stomach all in knots

With your mind filled with Scottish thoughts

Of what you did to both of you

The pain, the suffering all cut through

You're beating heart the most affected

For you found the most unexpected

Returning home you're glad you found

All that you'd lost safe and sound

You tried your hardest to stay as friends

But more was needed to make amends

Your first day back crashed and burned

But what was not expected was his concern

After everything you had done

He still came to you with one long run

He patched you up but still he spoke

Something inside then just broke

Declaring your love, you knew you had to

You understood this was a major breakthrough

Weeks went past you tried your best

Bubblegum toothpaste you all but confessed

Just like before it all came to blows

When your mind decided that it must close

Shutting off from the world around you

Your boyfriend decided that you were through

Your condition stayed silent but you did not

Because of all the pain it brought

Slapping him was the wrong thing to do

For all it caused was more pain for you

Back at your flat you curled into a ball

Your mind replying events making you fall

You fell from reality with no where back

Pulled from your dreams with a loud shout of "Jac"

Jonny was there holding you tight

Then you knew everything would be alright

You talked and talked about all that you had done

To ensure the best when your new life begun

Through all the truth and tears and cries

He was always there by your side

And that's how it's stayed throughout the years

My love has grown replacing my fears

Jonathon Maconie you have changed my life

And I am very proud to have become your wife

We start today united as one

Together forever with more to be done

We now have a focus which we can call ours

A special surprise delivered by the stars

And with one final note a new story begins

Myself and Jonny are expecting twins

I have begun a new a life and I must say

I really hope you enjoyed my wedding day

Thank you

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_**I hope you enjoyed it, and please review to let me know.**_

_**I am going to write a sequel as I feel this story here is complete. It should be up soon.**_

_**Thank you to all my readers.**_


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